Feeling GOOD about feeling GUILTY

It was Feb 2nd, 2005:

My 7th anniversary was around the corner

And my husband came in to announce that he had to go to Hong Kong on the date of our anniversary

I was devastated…this was going to be the third time in 7 years that he had not given importance to this special date for me

I was upset, very upset

My parents were going to America to help my brother move from Michigan to San Francisco

And they were going to drive across America for 10 days

I made a decision to join them

A very tough decision because I had two little kids

A joint family

“What will everyone think?”

“What will they say?”

Puneet’s Hong Kong trip got cancelled last minute

But I went anyway 😝😝😝

And I realised for the first time in 7 years I had done something for myself

I had stood up for myself

And though I felt really guilty

Missing my anniversary

Leaving the kids

The guilt in me changed my equation with Puneet

Instead of the usual anger

The guilt made me use better tonality

The guilt made me behave better with him

As well as everyone else

(He never missed an anniversary again nor did I remain desperate around that thought)

By taking simple decisions

I stopped making unnecessary sacrifices

I decided to study

I decided to work

I decided to earn my own money

I decided to travel for my courses

I decided to respect myself

I decided to look after myself

I decided to be honest about my feelings

Trust me, it took all the courage I had

For I realised no one else was going to do it until I did it for myself

And now I want every woman in India to have Guilt

That basically means she puts herself first when required

For we are supposed to be the ones to always adjust so no one else is inconvenienced