"FROM NEXT TIME..."
Your son didn’t follow the deadlines set
Your husband forgot to get you flowers
Your employee got late
The staff used the wrong crockery
Daily disappointments cause a lot of grief
And can totally turn a very positive day into a spiral downwards
If u say things like you never remember to
Always I only have to
Why am I being taken for granted
Then your expectations are not being matched
If that is the case
Instead of turning into the angry 😡 monster
Try keeping your calm and explaining in a gentle manner
If it was easy we all would be Lil Buddha’s walking around zen like
What I’ve learnt is a few things happen when we say
From next time
1) the person does not get defensive
2) he / she understand your expectation/ instructions more clearly
3) you give them a loophole therefore u don’t damage their ego
4) you can explain without getting angry
5) you keep the responsibility on yourself that maybe you did not communicate properly
6) people are not scared to make mistakes around you
7) you have a mature conversation
8) you come from a place of love not fear
9) you reduce conflict in your life without having to keep quiet and letting the other person know your requirement
10) you slowly become calmer realising one there is always a next time two it’s not what u say but how u say that matters most
Sweetheart FROM NEXT TIME could you please ensure you follow the timings I suggest u start putting an alarm
Or staff FROM NEXT TIME can you please use these cups always for filter coffee
Or FROM NEXT TIME can we have a proper code of conduct please around timing in our office and clear repercussions when someone does not follow them.
Can you see just three words can delay if not avoid an argument ....
Do try it ..... I use it all the time
And though a very simple technique I find it very useful as I’m extremely demanding of the people around me.
This gives them a “scope to improve situation”.